


deform to form a star

by KentuckyTheFried



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, spoilers for end game content, takes place after the main story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KentuckyTheFried/pseuds/KentuckyTheFried
Summary: “I...I’m afraid I may not live up to your expectations,” Alvis confessed, twisting a part of his hair behind his ear, “I have witnessed firsthand how life can be cruel, that the decisions you make can lead to life being taken away.”“You’re afraid that you’ll hurt people? I was scared of that too, even when I had the Mona - when I had you.” Shulk told him, “But I don’t think you’d need to worry about that at all. Because now you’ll have me.”(Shulk has a dream and sees Alvis long after the events of the main story.)
Relationships: Alvis/Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	deform to form a star

Shulk had skipped dinner that night in favor of working in the lab uninterrupted. Mechon parts were strewed about on his desk haphazardly, some dangling off the edge, threatening to fall. Blueprints to various inventions and upgrades were crumpled up or tucked away, and only one was in clear view. It was the design for an arm cast, a mechanical splint. If everything worked out, it would give Dunban movement in his right arm again. Shulk hoped to surprise him with it once it was done. 

But the claws of the unconscious were grabbing his temples, and with every passing moment Shulk wanted to give in to its grasp and sleep. Eventually he decided he wouldn’t get anywhere like this, and even if he did manage to keep going, there was no guarantee that the work he did would be adequate, or even subpar. Shifting some of the parts away with his arm, Shulk used the crook of his elbow as a makeshift pillow, and when his eyes fluttered shut the world of dreams embraced him with a quiet indignation.

Dreams were not something Shulk wished for, not after all that had happened. His nights were haunted by ghosts of the past, of mistakes he couldn’t fix and lives he couldn’t save. He would wake as if he hadn’t slept at all and go about the day normally, avoiding any and all questions about why there were dark circles under his eyes, why he kept tripping over his own two feet. When darkness claimed him he knew he would dream, and the vast expanse of space greeted him coldly. Shulk knew this vision - this was where he and the others fought Zanza and all the ghosts of their past. Metal Face, Face Nemesis, Jade Face, Xord. Mumhkar, Fiora, Gadolt, and whoever Xord had been in a past life. He felt the hilt of the Machina’s monado in his hand, and he prepared himself for a lonely fight in a lonely void.

But the scene changed, and when he went to grip the monado tighter his fingers pressed into his palm, empty. The sun, distant in the sky, grew higher as grassy land pressed into Shulk’s boots. A gentle breeze came to comfort him and the sky turned a brilliant shade of blue. He knew this place - it was just outside of the former Colony 6, the path out of the ether mine. Loose fence posts jutted out in weird directions, hardly performing their intended purpose at the edge of the land. In one of their many gaps, a familiar Homs sat, his feet dangling over the edge of the Bionis. Shulk had to rub his eyes to fully realize that it was Alvis, who hadn’t acknowledged that he was there yet. Smiling, he walked over, choosing not to sit down yet.

“Alvis!” He said, “It’s been a long time.”

“Indeed,” Alvis didn’t look up at Shulk, his silver gaze focused on some distant point on the horizon, “And it would seem during that time, you’ve been in good health.”

“I’d say so,” Shulk stretched his arms outwards, noticing that in this dream all of his aches and pains had been alleviated, “Rebuilding the colonies is taking longer than I first thought, but they’re coming along nicely. I’m back to working in a lab again too! Overall, everything’s coming along.”

“Good news,” He nodded, and without looking up he patted the space to his left. That silent affirmation was all Shulk needed to sit down next to Alvis, letting his legs dangle off the land. There was a dull sense of danger involved, but in the end, even if he fell, this was only a dream. Still, everything around him felt real - the sights, the textures, even the faint smell of iron and rosewater that the breeze carried over from Alvis. This close to him, Shulk could even see how smooth Alvis’s skin was, flawless and pure, porcelain that held no imperfections. His hair, feathery like the High Entia he’d worked with long ago, metallic and shining in the sunlight. The frown decorating his thin lips, desperately wanting to turn into a grin, but held back by something beneath the skin.

Shulk decided to ask what was bothering him, because it was obvious that Alvis was sad. 

“How have you been holding up?” He said, “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again.”

“I have nothing to report.”

Well, that was anticlimactic. 

“Really? Nothing new at all?”

“There isn’t much of anything for me to report. It is as you said, Shulk. Everything is coming along.”

“But what have you been up to?” Shulk pressed, “It’s been months since I’ve heard word from you. I find it hard to believe you haven’t been doing anything at all!”

Alvis paused, contemplative. His hands found their way into his lap, folding ever so perfectly with each other. “My administrative duties have taken up the bulk of that timeframe, but even then there is not much left to maintain. Thanks to you, this world has progressed in a natural manner. I believe in due time, my line of work will become obsolete.”

“Because this world has no gods to control it?”

“Precisely. I was set to maintain the world for Zanza’s return, but now that there are no gods left to govern it, this world has progressed on its own terms. It’s possible for me to collect new data regarding the future of this world, but…”

“But that’s not what you want.” Shulk finished, and finally Alvis turned to face him. His expression had taken on a miserable quality, his brow furrowing and his eyes creasing at the corners.

“Correction: that is not what you want, Shulk,” He said, “You expressed the desire to live life each day as it comes, and whatever the future held for you, you would embrace with open arms. It is difficult to collect data on a future that is not predetermined, only because of the infinite possibilities in store.”

“Right,” He agreed with a small sigh, “Though if I might ask...are you sad that this is what I chose?”

Alvis’s eyes went wide. “I could never be disappointed in you, Shulk. This world is prospering because of your decision, and I cannot fault you for placing the people of this world into your consideration.”

“But I basically took away your purpose,” Shulk protested, “You don’t have anything left to do anymore. Zanza gave you a job to fulfill, as much as it’s weird to admit it, but now you’re just…”

“Outdated technology.” Alvis turned away again, his legs gently kicking outwards. “All technology is bound to be replaced as advancements are made. I simply wasn’t expecting my own expiration to be so soon.”

“Expiration? Alvis, you’re not just a piece of equipment to be thrown away once you’ve served your purpose. You’re sentient. You can think for yourself. You can make a life for yourself, if you want!”

“My own life…”

The silver-haired Homs went quiet, now staring down at his hands, observing how his fingers bent to press down on his palms. It was a gentle movement, so carefully planned that Shulk couldn’t resist watching him. When the silence had passed, Alvis took a deep breath, and his hands came to rest on his thighs.

“Zanza once informed me that I would never change,” Alvis said, “That I was a program made to execute commands and nothing more. I cannot help but consider that he was right.”

“I killed Zanza, remember?” Shulk found himself laughing, “He can’t control who you are or who you want to be. Isn’t that why you helped me?”

“I deny that I was of any assistance to you. Your friends considered me a traitor, and even in the end, all I asked of you was to make a decision.”

“So all those times you appeared to me in my dreams weren’t supposed to be helpful? Alvis, you gave me the strength to keep fighting. When I thought I was nothing more than an empty shell, you were there to tell me that I had meaning - that everything I’d done had purpose to it.”

Alvis looked to Shulk again, and this time the saddened hint to his face had increased tenfold. It was like Shulk had spoken a truth he wasn’t prepared to accept. His eyes threatened tears, silver pools of mechanical grace that hid a mortal life. His lips parted, showing the slightest hint of white teeth, though no words could escape his body. So Shulk continued, smiling now that he knew what Alvis needed to hear.

“Maybe you can come and live in Colony 9 with me and experience what it’s like to be alive. You deserve to live, after all. Nothing can change that.”

“I...I’m afraid I may not live up to your expectations,” Alvis confessed, twisting a part of his hair behind his ear, “I have witnessed firsthand how life can be cruel, that the decisions you make can lead to life being taken away.”

“You’re afraid that you’ll hurt people? I was scared of that too, even when I had the Mona - when I had you.” Shulk told him, “But I don’t think you’d need to worry about that at all. Because now you’ll have me.”

And that was what broke the dam. Alvis’s tears spilled over onto his perfect cheeks, leaving trails of saltwater behind as evidence. Despite his tears, a beautiful smile now adored his face, and he was beautiful, and now Shulk never wanted to leave this moment. Before he could think, his arms were wrapped around Alvis, and Alvis’s arms pressed into his back, and Alvis’s face was pressed into Shulk’s shoulder, and Alvis was pressed into all of Shulk so perfectly that it was hard to believe this was a dream. 

With quiet sobs Alvis whispered, “Thank you.”

The smell of iron and rosewater followed Shulk into the waking world, and when he sat up and looked around, he saw Alvis faceplanted onto the floor behind him, fast asleep. The sight would’ve been comical without context, but all Shulk could do was smile. He didn’t know how long he’d been encased within the dream, or how the dream had followed him here. Shulk stood up from his chair, the aches and pains returning to declare vengeance, but he ignored them to pick Alvis up off the ground and carry him bridal style out of the lab. Along the way, Alvis’s eyes peeked open, still exhausted from his travels out of the unconscious. 

“Will you truly share this life with me?” He mumbled, a question that caused Shulk to blush.

“Of course I will,” He answered, for what else could he have said? “Now let’s get you somewhere comfortable to sleep. I’ll show you around the colony tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yay for my first xenoblade 1 fic! I played through the main story for the first time not too long ago and fell in love with nearly all the characters, especially Alvis and Shulk ~  
> Check me out on Twitter @KentuckyTheFry for artsy updates, and @KentuckyWrites if you'd like to see me ramble about fics I'm working on >:3
> 
> (ALSO this is the song I used as inspiration! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En9ibmBvPJI )


End file.
